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WASHINGTON—Wrapping her leather-gloved hand across the throttle of a classic Harley-Davidson, Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen folded up an image of a extremely risky new cryptocurrency, revved her bike’s engine, and sped away in pursuit, sources on the scene reported Thursday. “You’ll be able to run, however you may’t keep decentralized perpetually,” mentioned Yellen, who dedicated the digital coin’s image to reminiscence earlier than she strapped on a fire-red helmet and raced off towards the horizon, leaving a plume of filth and fumes behind her within the Treasury Division’s parking zone. “I’m coming for you, you son of a bitch. You’ve seen what occurred to Dogecoin, to TerraUSD. Your freewheeling days of untamed fluctuation received’t final perpetually. Not if Janet Yellen has any say within the matter.” Reached for remark, Yellen acknowledged she didn’t have any say within the matter, however hoped Congress would go laws to protect towards the dangers of digital currencies.
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